Berry you have challenged me this week. Meme Instructions: What are you afraid of? What are you haunted by? Share some of your fears and if you can, create an image depicting one of them.
My image represents how I feel. My greatest fear is being alone and fading away. I have always come off as arrogant, I know this. I am good at masking my feelings and not letting people in. I guess in a way this pushes people away from me. I have no issues with shutting myself off and closing down and "hiding" so to speak.
I am insecure to the point that I feel like that people don't like me. Lately I have noticed that I keep myself sheltered I am scared to let others near me. Even my own husband *points to her SL partner box*. Though I think he knows me well after two years in this crazy place. I never done good alone. I always felt like I needed someone around me. Being left alone I feel paranoid. I get crazy thoughts in my head. I get the sense of abandonment in my head. I guess in a way it makes me dependant on some. Its not always a bad thing, but its not a good thing either.
I can be in a room full of people all of them could talk to me and that doesn't shut out the feeling of being alone, it almost like they communicate because they have to. Though I know it isn't true, its just how it can feel. I have always had found it hard to make a real connection with people. There are the rare few that get me. Those that are special to me. Then there is the rest. Its like watching the world pass you by. A busy street so to speak and the people are walking so fast and I am just in slow motion.
I dislike not being noticed. If I contribute to something, or say something and people just ignore me. It fuels the fire of being alone. Its insane, most people can brush it off and move on, but not me, it bugs me. Though like before I said I am good at masking it. I can hide the fact stuff bothers me. I stay silent and I let it go into a box in my head till that box is full and it explodes.
This is a meme that was hard to talk about. I guess its a good thing she put this challenge out. I know most are scared of needles, and spiders, some of you have some weird fears, but they are your fears and this is mine. I am Monophobic ...
What a powerful post and picture. It was really interesting to read and I felt like it was almost therapeutic for you to write it all out. It's funny how there are billions of people in this world but yet so many of us feel alone. Thank you for sharing Livvy. <3
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